Thursday, July 30, 2009

I wish...a totally random stream of consciousness...

I wish I was sitting at the desk in the photo above. I wish I had the time to do all the things I close my eyes and dream of doing on a daily basis. I wish I could take all the drugs, cancer, bullshit radiation talk away from Selene and flush it down a really strong toilet and never let it see the light of day again. I wish the hours would go by slower so I could be everything for everyone and never disappoint a single soul even for just a moment ever again. I wish it was July 1st and I had the whole month to do over. I wish I could exercise and go for the longest run of my life and listen to every playlist I ever made along the way, recalling each and every reason I put each and every song on. I wish I was with Tallulah at this very moment and she could speak and tell me how she feels and put my mind at ease so that I don't fear that when this child comes Taloo's jealousy will be an issue. I wish I could sit with my grandparents and have them tell me stories about their life and have them advise me on how to live my own. I wish there was a person on my shoulder to whisper "you can do it" when the days get tough or when I get tired. I wish for just a moment the future was clear and only beauty sat on the horizon because deep down I know it's all going to be magical but there's always that "but" that holds me back. I wish my feet never got tired and my sandals never got dirty so I could walk forever and ever and see every bit of the world with my own eyes. I wish people would be honest and open with their feelings not just to the world around them but to themselves. I wish more of the population could feel more compassion and see that money and things don't mean anything and that this life is all about true love and understanding and giving and enjoying. I wish that with every penny I threw in every fountain every wish would come true. I wish all my friends would have an easier day and write me an email with a list of 5 things that make them smile. I wish no one I knew had to ever worry about money or health issues. I wish I liked hugs because right now one would probably be a good solution to my temporary lapse of sanity and happiness. I wish I had a million amazing things to blog about so I could make everyone smile the way they deserve to. 


  1. you can do it my sweet sweet friend.
    if anyone can do it. you are the one.
    just breathe ...

  2. you already have done it, it's just some days get us all the wrong way, I agree with Selene, take a deep breath and remember all the good things-let go of the bad--'"Your thoughts and words create your reality", always remember that. Biggest hugs ever,

  3. Difficult to compete with the words of Selene and Momj but of course I need to add my three cents (Russian Version). Don't forget about the words that I see every time I go to your blog: Where Theres Love Theres Life and you have it coming from all angles supporting you when you feel like you just don't want to do it anymore. Everything else will fall into place. Breeeeathe. Smile. And Taloo told me she's cool with it but will not be babysitting.


Related Posts with Thumbnails