Wednesday, July 28, 2010

grateful


I'm feeling a wee emotional today. I put baby to sleep last night, cleaned, did a billion sit-ups and then wrote and wrote and wrote. I had to stop myself at one point because I was getting cramps in my hands and my emotions were somewhat schizophrenic - laughing out loud, sobbing crying, dazed and confused - all within moments of one anther.

I went into Luca's room at one point just to listen to him breath. I was crying of peace and happiness. With tears streaming down my face I reached down to touch his little belly and feel his heart beat. Which is when I nearly lost my shit. As I felt around for him in the darkness I finally found his little body - legs straight up in the air against the side of the crib, one arm tossed over his eyes, the other hand down his pants, down his diaper. That kid loves his manliness parts. Tears were replaced by laughter. All I wanted in that moment was to wake him up, see him smile, snuggle into his little neck and play. Ahhh, I am so grateful.

I went to sleep feeling so thankful for the life I've lived, the life I'm living.

I hope you all have those moments, where it all comes together and feels safe and sweet and simple. Where you just know life truly does work out if you just play it all out.

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