Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
It asked me to repair it. It told me you needed me. So I'm just
telling you now that I'm going to be your knight in shining armor. I
am going to save you and make that heart of yours good again. Your
eyes will sparkle again and dance with light as they were born to do.
That's because I love you. And I will forever. You and that heart of
Today I was on the street and this super from a building next to mine
said hi, as he always does. Then I walked to the deli and there he was
again. He smiled and said "I like seeing you, you make me happy."
Which made me stop and think to myself, long and hard, the world is
full of good. Sometimes when you're around bad for a long time, well
you lose track and begin to think everyone is bad. You believe your
heart may not be able to be healed ever again and that your energy may
forever be jaded and sad. But no. That's not true. We just have to
make changes and surround ourselves with knights and supers made of
any one of the girls that spent childhood summers with me can attest to this: I spent more time in the water than I did on land. At one point I was convinced I could live under the sea, mermaid style.
Forget having tea parties at the bottom of the pool, we'd have full on dance parties that lasted longer than most bar mitzvah's.
our skin the color of mocha, hair a mix of white and green from the chlorine. My abs, at the age of 7, were a full on washboard with more than a 10-pack. More than anything, I was part of a group of girls that I loved more than summer itself. These girls were solid, sweet and loved with every ounce of their being. I don't know if i've ever been so grateful for those girls as I am today. Those memories are some of my most vivid and surely my happiest.
In my dreams I still go to the bottom of the ocean, I swim with them, with sea turtles, I swim with dolphin and fish. I'm wearing nothing, I'm wearing an elegant gown. I'm dancing and spinning and the world is more than alright.
I'm not entirely sure why but I didn't sleep last night. I had attempted to watch tv to lull me into a slumber, but that didn't work. So I went into the living room and onto the couch as I used to do when I was pregnant, when I would talk to the wee one inside as the rest of New York City slept. I looked out the same window I did when Luca was within, I saw the same apartments, some of which have changed drastically, some of which are exactly the same. I remembered those who kept their tv sets on all evening, I remembered the guy that opened his refrigerator every hour, I remembered the holiday lights that twinkled all year long down on 18th street. And I remembered those kicks that Luca used to give me, telling me "hey, don't worry lady, I'm here for you." or perhaps it was just him wanting me to know how excited he was to join me, to look out the windows of the world together, to watch the changes and to see what stays the same.
A year ago and so much has changed. A year ago and nothing is the same.
I don't know how I feel about that...
What about you? Is your life the same or different from a year ago? And how does it make you feel?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I fell deep in love with the clothing line Jay Ahr (and it's creator, Jon Riss) about a year ago. I went to his showroom in NYC and almost lost consciousness. It was paradise brought to Madison Avenue. The rooms have the height, light and smells of Paris. The moldings, tables, even the tea set, brought from France, placed in this little temple surrounded by the most sensual, sexy, divinely crafted clothes.
So when I was just in Paris last week, I made my way to his huge store, workspace and offices to see how much grander the line could look where it's created. And I wept.
This stuff is heaven. It truly doesn't get better than what he does, so if you ever need a dress to make you feel like a vixen brought to earth and crafted by the god of alluring beauty, wear his clothes.