I went to an incredible lecture yesterday, an unexpected jolt for my soul.
Since I was a little girl I've been extremely spiritual, yet within the last 4 years I'm realizing I've lost a good part of that, an important part. I think about it often and I wonder within why I no longer believe and see things as I used to. Yesterday answers came my way. In a soothing way.
Gabrielle Bernstein is an old acquaintance who spoke with her dear friend/cancer survivor/motivational speaker/nutritional guru, Kris Carr. The two were talking to a room of 300 yet I felt like their words were directed solely at me.
Without getting too deep into it all, I sat motionless, but deeply moved. And then I left, walked a city block and stopped. I looked up at the sky and felt a shift. An overdue, change within myself. This morning I woke up feeling like today was the start of something really wonderful. The start to a fresh new life.
The easy part: my diet -- no more coffee but instead more water and green juices. The hard part: cleaning out my cloudy "make it happen now" attitude. I need to start believing again. And listening to my inner voice because it's smarter than my jaded, bullheaded mind. Being led is better than forcing things to happen.
It's something I used to know so well and live so perfectly, and to be brutally honest, I was a happier version of myself then. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a miserable being now, but like everyone, I have things in my life that I allow to bring me down. I no longer want to live like that. And last night I realized it's not about making a drastic change (like, say...moving to a different city or leaving your husband), no. It's about quieting yourself down and listening to the world around you.
This is exactly what my mom teaches and tries to get me to do daily, and somehow in that room I felt her patiently nodding in agreement. It's time to relax and let life happen, time to let a little miracle happen each day.