- skateboard wheels on pavement - ocean waves - Luca's laugh - the crackle and pop of a fire - a door opening when you know it's someone you love - your own heartbeat under water - my soles hitting the ground on a run - glasses saying "cheers" - my Tallulah's deep snore - whispers
I have two more work days until I'm home with this man. I miss him. I miss his nakedness in the early mornings. I miss how he yells for me from his bed even though he can easily get out and just walk to me. I miss when he laughs at my jokes like I'm the funniest woman alive. I miss how he tells me I look better with my hair down. I miss him grabbing my elbow while drinking his morning cup of chocolate milk. I miss when he runs to the bathroom and talks to me while perfectly aiming yet not looking at where it's going. I miss that little face which jumps on me from every angle to give me kisses and hugs. I miss the nonstop "mama?!?" as he searches for something.
Just plain miss him.
Sorry to complain but it's painful.
Being away from NYC, even for a few days, makes me realize how much I appreciate and am inspired by the boys of my city. The ones who fly by me on four wheels, weaving in and out of traffic, on two wheels, their bikes as cool as any piece of their wardrobe.
I've been known to pivot on a sidewalk, run back inside and change my outfit...all from the flash of a handsome man on wheels flying by me.
I like the stars. It’s the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they’re always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend… I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don’t last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend." - Neil Gaiman
I love how this photo is so full of emotions. As Renee, mama to luella & sadie (the girls in the pic), put it: "they look like they just got some devastating news." when in fact this was one of my favorite playdates, endlessly fun.
Luca, with a clip in his hair, looks so riiiight in this girly environment.
A little note to my Luca bear (and human beings in general):
1. always say thank you, even if you felt entitled to it
2. look people in the eyes when you are speaking to one another
3. never judge someone, especially upon first encounter
4. hold the door for others
5. simply do not cry at work
6. find love in everything, cause there truly is something to love about every one and every thing7. ladies, never be the last to leave
8. if it scares you, do it
9. be a good tipper
10. ask questions and when it's your turn to answer, be thorough.
11. have patience
12. know when to keep your mouth shut
13. know when to speak up
14. it's better to be dressed up than too casual
15. remember we are all in this together
16. if you get your heart broken, which you inevitably will, don't rush to get over the pain.
17. when all else fails, take a shower. you'll feel better
18. never trust a man with two first names
19. if you're deciding between a tie or a bow tie, go with the tie
20. have street walking and umbrella holding etiquette - you are not the only person on the planet
21. be honest
22. don't intentionally hurt anyone. we are all equal. it's true
face creams, maybe it's time to indie label it....like Sepai, so incredibly smart, I need it now.
"Barcelona-based cult favorite Sepai will be introducing Tune It, a facial treatment that you can customize by adding up to three out of eight special extracts to lift, firm, whiten, tan, or provide elasticity, flash, or botox effect. One of the bases is called Paparazzi, a facial moisturizer with antioxidant, protective, and regenerative properties that also hides blemishes and imperfections by creating a soft focus effect." —NY magazine
know what i realized while being away from my home these past few days? I realized how nice of a life I live and how comfortable it is.
And I realized how similar habits can be from person to person. Like Luca and I. we can go days just picking on a kale and yogurt dip with a whole grain pita. Add guacamole to the mix and we could be content for months.
I love how I just discovered something food related which makes me full yet hungry, content yet wistful - all at the same time.
Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.
And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes
you cannot even breathe deeply, and
the night sky is no home, and
you have cried yourself to sleep enough times
that you are down to your last two percent, but
nothing is infinite,
not even loss.
You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day
you are going to find yourself again. from here.
I'm on night two of being away from home, without my Luca Bear. My heart pains me.
I spoke to him on the phone tonight and he made me laugh, cry and burst with pride all at once. He's growing so quickly, our conversations so real, truly deep...makes me realize how precious each day is, how every moment we are getting older, growing wiser.
Which for whatever reason always makes me think of living by the sea. For me, life by the ocean seems to move slower. Perhaps it's because there's always something to see and do and you waste so little time traveling to get to where you are headed. Because there you are. Living it. Smelling the ocean, seeing the sky, feeling the sand, tasting the air, hearing the world swirl around you.
I miss you, ocean. I miss you, Luca. soon enough...
My first trip to Cuba. Feels like a lifetime ago, it basically was...2006 to be exact.
If you've never made the journey to Cuba, put it on your to do list. The land where time has stood still...you've heard it, you've read it, you've seen it, but it's fact.
The cars, the fashion, the food, buildings, everything.
No where else in the world can you find a tiny island with so much culture and interest. To be honest, I'm emotional from looking through the photos, so I guess I'll just leave you with those, I think they do a perfect job explaining the beauty and the fascination of it all.
I've been known to have commitment issues. In order to make a purchase bigger than a skim chai latte at Starbucks it takes about three weeks and loss of sleep to make a decision.
Lighting has created such anxiety since I moved into my apartment in 2009. I have bought exactly two lights, one for Luca's room (which I got for a photo shoot) and the other an Ikea desk lamp which Tallulah broke weeks after I purchased it. Otherwise, I live in the dark. Not kidding.
I think 2013 needs to be about getting over my fears and committing to things. So I'm on the hunt, a great light for every room in my home...suggestions welcome.
He's my everything. How did I get so lucky? Every day is a reminder of what true love is. Watching him play in the first snowfall, listening to him tell me about his girlfriends, being squeezed by him as he falls asleep.
How incredibly lucky is this girl?
I'm trying to take myself right back to the beach, it's absolutely freezing in NYC today and I'm aching to be warm and peaceful as my thoughts have turned to a bit stressed out.
Last night as I watched Luca in the bathtub, floating on his back, singing "Jingle Bells" in French, I had this intense feeling of concern. I began to worry that our life in NYC may not be as magical as I always imagined it to be for him.
I began to worry that he was missing out on floating in the sea more often than just vacations and summers. I started to think about animals and grass and fresh air that comes with living outside of a city. Then I began to doubt I'd be able to give him a perfectly balanced life. What does that even mean? I compare it to my childhood, as I feel like I grew up with that balance, having it all. But as a parent, I'm no the same as my parents, the world is no longer as it was when I was three years old...
So now I'm left thinking about balance, considering how to find it and give it and cultivate it for my wonderful child. And of course, being by the sea would make decision making so much easier with a clear mind.
"if i’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. as far as you can, as much as you can. across the ocean, or simply across the river. the extent to which you can walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food, it’s a plus for everybody. open your mind, get up off the couch, move." -Anthony Bourdain, Series Finale of No Reservations
Last night on the subway I watched this waaaaay over polished chick doing her entire face of makeup looking in her iPhone mirror. A case, a mirror. How smart is that?
Seriously genius for all you narcissists and us uber-rushed mommy's.
"Well, for me, I can never get enough. I mean, I do get satisfied. I do get my fill in a day, I get tired and want to go home and sleep or eat, but the next day if the waves are happening, I'm out there again. It's not something that necessarily gets old. You push yourself to a certain limit and once you've done something new you've want to keep going, you want to do something further. I surf, I walk, I sleep. It's that much a part of my life. In that way it's very addictive." - Kelly Slater
For my surfer son, who's every single day is an exhilarating mass of curiousness. May you grow up to be a man that finds satisfaction and love in something you get to do often.
It's about love. Always about love. So I do what I love & write about that. I share here because I believe every moment, every little thing of each of our lives can mean something.What I love might not mean something to you today, but one day you may think back to a story I told & relate to it. It's in that moment you wont feel alone & you will feel the love. This life is worth sharing for that one simple reason.